Monday, October 13, 2014

Types of Selfies Stop Taking

http://www.vipspatel.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/selfie.jpg

Ah selfies, we seem to have a love-relationship with them. One moment they are declared to be a sign of mental disorder and the next they are deemed to be an expression of loving oneself. Regardless of which camp you are in, selfies are here to stay for the long run.


selfie


Now before you selfie practioners go off to take another selfie (to the resignation of the rest of us), you need to know that not all selfies are tolerated. Obviously there are some that are hazardous, please don’t even think about them. Then there are these 8 selfies that I believe should be retired from our social media feeds. Forever.


 


1. Toilet Selfies


Of all places to take a selfie, why are you photographing your perfect face in the loo? I mean, I’m sure there are nicer places to take your selfie at home like the garden or the kitchen. Even your wall would make for a better background.


And why are taking a selfie of yourself while making a dump? Why are you doing this?? This is just nasty. Please keep your business behind closed doors and off social media, good grief.


toilet
(Image source: College Times)


2. Duckface Selfies


We’re reaching the end of 2014, why is this still a thing? No, you do not look pretty. If anything, it is absolutely unflattering and incredibly ridiculous. A simple smile would do and you look so much better and attractive and not annoying.


duckface


(Image source: Know Your Meme)


3. Crying Selfies


Um, are you okay? Do you need to have some ice cream? Maybe you should get off the Internet for a while you know, so you can pull yourself together.


I still do not know what is the purpose of posting a photo of yourself crying but you should definitely consider taking a break from selfies to down a tub of ice cream. Or doing whatever it is to make yourself happy.



(Image source: BuzzFeed)


4. Sleeping Selfies


Hey, do you know that no one is buying it? We all know that you just decided to lie on the bed, angle your phone strategically, close your eyes, and press the shutter.


What’s that you say? Your finger just happened to click on the shutter at such an opportune time? Your bae caught you sleeping? Such impress.


@NEWARK_GTFOH: FEMALES BE LIKE … pic.twitter.com/rfkN6ZIIWH” the tweet that started it all!!


— colbster (@colbster_king) June 19, 2014


Don’t even get me started with the Oh-I’ve-just-woken-up-and-look-how-fabulous-my-hair-is. Or the ones you took after making love. Just, ew no.


5. Driving Selfies


You obviously did not hear about how this woman met a head-on collision right after she took a selfie while driving. Or the bride-to-be who didn’t make it to her wedding because she was taking a selfie with her maid-in-honor in a car. If you did, you would think twice about doing this:


driving
(Image source: Yahoo)


No, it’s not cool. No, I’m not interested to see that you are in the car driving to wherever. I most certainly do not care if traffic is non-existent, just please keep your eyes on the road!


6. Funeral Selfies


…I have no words for this. You get mad props for looking like an insensitive human being though.


I get it. You are probably young and this is your way of dealing with grief. I hate to tell you this, kid but now the whole world knows that you have no respect for the dearly departed.


funeral
(Image source: Tumblr)


7. Disaster Selfies


This is me looking at your selfie that you took when escaping from a fire or at a car crash.


facepalm
(Image source: Imgur)


Because what are priorities, am I right? What is an awesome selfie compared to going to safety or helping the victims, after all. Congratulations on being the most sorry excuse of a human being, a rank which you now share with these people below:


This guy who took a selfie with a burning building in the background.


fire
(Image source: Mashable)


This lady taking a selfie with a suicidal person on Brooklyn Bridge.


suicide
(Image source: New York Post)


While the below selfies are not disasters, they are highly inappropriate and people ought to recheck their priorities:


When your teacher is having contractions.


withteacher


(Image source: Gawker)


When you’re being pulled over by cops. You should reflect on your wrongs, sonny.


arrested
(Image source: Pulptastic)


And this is why I lose my faith in humanity.


8. Extreme Selfies


Please, stop. Get down from there, you’re going to fall. No really, watch out for that – rock.


Look, I know that selfie on top of that super tall building would make this the ultimate selfie or something. You were probably inspired by these guys and this jaw-dropping video they made after climbing a Hong Kong skyscrapper.



Or maybe even you want some on the action like these bunch of people endangering themselves and participants of the Tour de France.


Nearly died talking #TDFselfie


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Types of Selfies Stop Taking

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