So you want to brew your own beer. Let's start with the most obvious question: What are you, nuts?
Seriously, what are you thinking? Are you having a hard time finding beer? Are there not enough quality brews out there already? You do realize that we're living in a craft beer renaissance, and you can enjoy just about every possible style and flavor imaginable for less than it would cost you to fill your car?
Are you just a glutton for punishment? Are you one of those guys who's like, "I make my own pasta. Just, you know . . . because I've never heard of a grocery store."
Okay fine, you want to do this. You've invested in the necessary supplies--a fermenter, a boiling pot, a siphon, all the essentials--and you're determined to create a beer that will make you a home-brewing legend. Now that there's no turning back, here are a few important rules to remember:
1. Keep it simple.
While a large part of the excitement of home-brewing is the creative freedom to brew whatever you like, you should probably start with some of the more simple styles of beer, like ales. Get to know the quirks and tricks of your garage-built system. Familiarize yourself with the personality of a few different yeast strains, and get comfortable with your process. You'll have plenty of time to develop your "Bourbon Barrel-Aged Beef Jerky Barley Wine" recipe later. (And when you do, call us. That sounds delicious.)
2. Clean, sanitize, and repeat.
A common joke among professional brewers is that 85 to 90 percent of their time is spent cleaning and sanitizing the brewing equipment. The reality is, this isn't a joke. Cleaning and sanitizing is quite possibly the most important aspect of your entire brew day. Your award-winning recipe--with the extremely expensive ingredients you paid to have over-nighted to your garage brewery, and the 10 hours of work you put into what will surely be the best 10 gallons of beer ever made--will all be for waste if you don't properly clean and sanitize everything.
During fermentation, you're essentially letting a big jug of sugar water, plant particles, and fungus sit around at room temperature for 3 or more weeks. It doesn't take much for things to go terribly, terribly wrong.
3. Be precise.
The hallmark of a good brewer is consistency. Anybody can get lucky once, but in order to repeat your success, or track down and fix a failure, you need to take meticulous brew notes. Weigh your ingredients carefully, and keep tabs of any changes. Download a brew-log template or make your own. Track every aspect of your brew, including, but not limited to: malt bill, H2O additions, liquor-to-grist ratio, mash temp, pH, mash time, first running gravity, sparge temp, pre-boil kettle volume, pre-boil gravity, boil time, hop additions, weight, alpha acid content, post-boil volume, original gravity, knock-out temp, lag time, fermentation vigor, fermentation temp, length of fermentation, final gravity, racking, and tasting notes.
4. Read a book first.
Did anything in tip #3 make any sense? Probably not, right? If you know what a "liquor-to-grist ratio" means, you're not reading an online guide to home-brewing. But if you're a newbie, don't be overwhelmed. Brewing is a complicated process when you delve into the finer details, and anybody who tells you they have all the secrets is full of crap. You're never going to stop learning, whether it's new tricks and techniques, or the "oh-so-fascinating" details of the chemistry and microbiology. There are an abundance of resources out there for everyone from the first time home-brewer to the pickle-livered master-brewer.
5. Be patient.
Brewing requires a certain balance between your inner masochist and zen master. On your typical home-brew day--which is most likely your day off--expect to get up at the crack of dawn and put in a 5- to 10-hour day of hard labor. And then you have to wait another 20 days to 3 months before you can even take the first sip of your beer. The life cycle of yeast should never be rushed. When your nosey neighbor pokes his head in, asking for a sample of your latest brew, pour a bottle of Colt 45 into a frosty glass, and ask for his "honest feedback."
6. Have a blast.
In the frantic quest to make the best beer possible, don't forget the most important aspect of home-brewing: it should be fun. Maybe you aspire to be a professional brewer some day. Well, here's a little secret. Most professional brewers reminisce about their amateur years as "the good ol' days," back when they were still driven by a passion for making beer. When it becomes a business, too many of them hire other people to do the brewing for them, as they swim through a sea of paperwork, and jump the hurdles of endless regulations and tracking expenditures. If you're doing this as a hobby, you're experiencing the best of it. Invite over your friends, fire up the propane burner, and have them sample the fruits of your labor. That's what home-brewing is all about.
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